I am calmly seated, reading a text on my phone, minding my business. She approaches me with her fingers laced behind her back and a shy face. She asks: “Can I see your phone?”
“Sure. Is there something specific you want to see?” I ask, stunned at how bold she is to casually approach a stranger.
“Just give me the phone, and I will search myself,” she says, as she grabs the phone from my hands. She slides through the screen, up and down as if searching for a very important email from weeks back. She taps “YouTube”, taps the search icon, and gives back and phone, “I want to watch ‘Baby Shark’” she dictates.
Her name is Masha, and she is 1 year and 9 months old. The fact that she can smoothly navigate through any phone, any interface of any screen at that age is both exciting and terrifying, at least for most parents. At the age of 10, I bet she will be fixing bugs on her father’s computer.
Masha belongs to Generation Alpha (children born between 2010 and 2025), which comes after Generation Z (born between 1997 and 2012). These are two generations that are more tech-savvy, knowledgeable, creative, expressive and full of new ideas.
Currently, Generation Z and Alpha aged 1-26 years old is the largest generation group in Rwanda, with half of the population aged between 5 and 25. They were born to parents who belong to Generation X and Millennials who lived in a more challenging and traumatizing social and economic situation when surviving the next day was their biggest challenge. They grew up under strict parenting styles, limited aspirations, and academic intelligence being a benchmark for their children’s success.
Generation X and Millennials fought to provide a wider scope of options and opportunities for their children. Many succeeded. Gen Z and Alpha, their children, now grow up not thinking about what tomorrow brings but what @userphoenix478 has to say about an Instagram post of their latest outfit.
The massive exposure to technology not only enriches them but also makes them less happy and labeled as spoiled and weak. They can edit videos, play complex video games, and access a wealth of information with just a few taps on a screen. Yet, some struggle with basic tasks like tying shoelaces, washing dishes, or bringing an item from the store. This situation requires a different warm yet firm parenting paradigm for Generation Z.
Many parents who spoke to SENS emphasized the need to create a nurturing and supportive environment where children feel loved, respected, and valued. In a world where vast amounts of information—both beneficial and harmful—are readily accessible, fostering such an environment is considered essential in parenting.
Clarisse Mukandizeye, a mother of four—three Gen Z kids and one Gen Alpha—finds little difference between these generations, except that Gen Alpha kids seem to be growing up “more spoiled.”
Her advice revolves around teaching responsible internet use, emphasizing online safety, privacy, and critical thinking skills to navigate the vast online landscape.
“When it comes to kids nowadays they won’t leave their gadgets, which is why you have to set limits on screen time and encourage a balance between online activities and offline pursuits such as outdoor play, hobbies, and spending time with family and friends, once a child is spending much time on a screen (phone, tablet or TV) rather than playing with kids the same age that’s when you have to know you they have an issue.”
Mukandizeye highlighted the risks of unrestricted internet access, which may expose children to inappropriate content or undesirable influences.
Embrace the new nurturing parenting style
Understanding Gen Z’s aversion to being told what to do, she encourages parents to support their children’s creativity and passions while providing opportunities for hands-on learning and problem-solving. Rather than dictating rules, she advocates for guiding children to evaluate information critically and develop independent thinking skills, recognizing that traditional authoritarian approaches may not resonate with these generations.
Shebah Tanganyika, a parent of one child born in 2021, emphasized the importance of open communication and emotional expression within the family. He and his wife prioritize guiding their child through healthy emotional development and discipline, opting for advice over physical punishment.
“Maintaining a strong connection with our child is challenging in today’s busy world, parents need to be active listeners. Teaching financial literacy from a young age is also essential, instilling values of responsibility and informed decision-making in managing money. These skills will prove invaluable as your child matures, particularly when they assume greater independence, such as when they enter boarding school and begin to navigate life alone.”
Ariane Isimbi, a single mother raising a Gen Alpha daughter, reflects on the importance of transparent communication in parenting:
“When I grew up, our parents withheld information they deemed sensitive, such as sexual health, under the guise of protection. However, this lack of openness only exacerbated issues.”
“Today, parents must prioritize mindfulness and teach coping mechanisms for managing stress and anxiety. Mental health is a real issue in our society, so encouraging self-care practices and fostering a supportive atmosphere for discussing mental well-being is crucial. Additionally, exposing children to diverse cultures, perspectives, and experiences cultivates empathy, understanding, and equality among all individuals,” Isimbi said.
Audace Ngabitsinze, a parent to four Gen Z children, shares his insights: “I know most parents do not do this but you have to promote a healthy lifestyle by modeling healthy eating habits, regular physical activity, and adequate sleep for your kids. Teach your children about the importance of taking care of their bodies and minds; a well-fed and rested child is more likely to excel in school too. You also have to practice positive discipline techniques such as setting clear boundaries, offering praise and encouragement, and providing consequences that are appropriate and constructive.”
“At 18, I learned to let go, realizing that excessive intervention could breed resentment. Nowadays, our communication mostly unfolds via WhatsApp or during weekend visits. While some of their choices may not align with my ideals, I have come to accept that they’re growing up fast, and there’s only so much control a parent can exert.”
