Hi, I’m Sandra Mushambokazi, a 25-year-old plus-size woman who’s learned to love every curve. But let me take you back a bit—I wasn’t always plus-size. In fact, I used to be embarrassingly skinny. I remember being so desperate to be thicker in all the right places that I would pray for it, but when I finally started gaining weight at thirteen, it didn’t happen the way I imagined. The weight piled on, but not where I wanted it to. My midsection grew, and my waist didn’t fit into the beauty standards I’d set for myself.
By the time I was fifteen, I was bigger than my older sister, and suddenly, all anyone could talk about was my weight. Family gatherings turned into unsolicited advice sessions on how to lose it. Dieting tips, workout plans, fasting routines—you name it, I’ve heard it. And yes, I’ve tried them all. Sure, I lost weight here and there, but the truth is, I was miserable. I couldn’t imagine a life of constant deprivation, especially when it meant giving up my beloved oily French fries. Even when people complimented me on my weight loss, it felt hollow because I wasn’t doing it for myself—I was doing it for them.
This cycle of dieting, losing weight, and then gaining it back became my identity crisis. For years, I compared myself to friends and family members, thinking that if I just looked like them, I’d be happy. It wasn’t until 2022 that I realised weight loss wasn’t the magic solution I thought it was. Then came 2023, and I worked harder than ever, shedding pounds and finally feeling confident enough to rock a bikini and have the hot girl summer I’d always wanted. But then, I fell off the wagon again.
There’s a saying that goes, “It all begins with mental acceptance,” or maybe I just made that up—but it’s true. I finally realised that I can never change who I am, and you know what? I don’t want to. I learned the hard way that even skinny people struggle with body image and insecurities. It’s not about the weight. Yes, being overweight can make you unhappy, but what really matters is self-love. Learning to love and adorn your body is key.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is how to dress for my body shape. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you stop hiding behind baggy clothes and start embracing your curves. And ladies, let’s talk about that fupa (fat upper pubic area). It’s there for a reason—to protect our reproductive organs. Embracing your stomach means embracing your womanhood and feminine energy. Doing the inner work to love yourself and be kind to yourself is the only way forward. And this advice isn’t just for plus-size women; it’s for everyone.
So, how do you build confidence as a plus-size person? Start by getting inspired by people who share your body type, not by comparing yourself to supermodels. Follow fashion influencers who know how to dress curves, experiment with styles that make you feel good, and remember that confidence comes from within. It’s about owning who you are, not changing it to fit someone else’s idea of beauty.
Another tip is to invest in self-care—whether it’s skincare, haircare, or even just taking time out for yourself. When you take care of your body, you’re telling yourself that you’re worth it. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your journey. Positive energy is contagious, and having a strong support system makes all the difference.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Whether it’s with family members who always have something to say about your weight or friends who don’t get your struggles, it’s important to protect your peace. You are more than just your body, and your worth isn’t tied to a number on the scale. Embrace the journey of self-love, and remember that confidence is a continuous process, not a destination.
