An article by Planned Parenthood traces the roots of planned parenting back to October 1916. Margaret Sanger, born into a family of 11 children, grew up witnessing her mother\u2019s health deteriorate from numerous pregnancies, including seven miscarriages. Her mother succumbed to tuberculosis at just 50 years old. This personal tragedy, combined with Margaret\u2019s experiences as a nurse\u2014where she encountered women dying from unsafe, illegal abortions\u2014spurred her to travel to Europe to study birth control methods. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In collaboration with her sister, Ethel Byrne, and activist Fania Mindell, Margaret opened the first birth control clinic in Brownsville, Brooklyn. The clinic provided sexual and reproductive healthcare, marking the start of a movement for accessible and affordable services. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the time, birth control was illegal, and Margaret\u2019s advocacy led to her arrest. While her team complied with paying fines, she refused and served a 30-day jail sentence. The clinic was shut down, but Margaret remained undeterred, traveling across the country to spread her message. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, Margaret\u2019s campaign was not without flaws. As a eugenicist, she believed in improving society through selective breeding for desirable traits\u2014a belief that has since been criticized and rejected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today, Planned Parenthood has redefined her mission, advocating that \u201call people\u2014 every race, religion, gender identity, ability, immigration status, and geography\u2014are full human beings with the right to determine their own future and decide, without coercion or judgment, whether and when to have children.\u201d In a nutshell, when births are planned (planned parenthood), parents are in position to provide their children (planned kids) with the basic needs\u2013education, food, shelter, clothes, among other things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Understanding Planned Kids in the African Context <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Fast forward to the 21st century, the term “planned kids” now refers to children whose parents not only provide the basics but also certain luxuries. These are children whom, Africans believe, when asked where milk comes from, answer, \u201cthe supermarket,\u201d not a cow. They dine out at restaurants or hotels, often thinking that\u2019s where food grows, not in a garden. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While other children might walk or take public transport to school, planned kids have chauffeurs when their parents are busy. Water, for them, comes exclusively from faucets\u2014whether in the bathroom, kitchen, or compound. Any other source\u2014be it rain, springs, or wells\u2014is dismissed as “dirty.” Their clothes? Shopping malls or shipments from abroad, courtesy of a well-off relative. If locally sourced, you can bet they\u2019re rocking designs from high-end brands like Moshions, Zuba, or House of Tayo\u2014not the local market. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At home, even seating arrangements reflect their carefully curated hierarch Visitors\u2014especially those deemed not up to the household\u2019s \u201cstandards\u201d\u2014are likely relegated to the floor or a less desirable spot in the living room, far from \u201ctheir\u201d sofa. And if there\u2019s a TV mounted on the wall, brace yourself to watch whatever Little Arnold has on. Dare to request a channel change, and you might find yourself asked if you’re aware of the TV\u2019s price tag. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Their parents? Doctors, lawyers, engineers, pilots, ministers, or bank executives\u2014occupations that exude status and prestige. Cousins whose parents don\u2019t make the cut socially are shunned or, at best, tolerated during family events. If they\u2019re acknowledged, it often comes with veiled reminders of their \u201clesser\u201d background\u2014mockery of their parents\u2019 jobs, sense of style, or neighborhood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For these planned kids, house chores are as foreign as the idea of hard work; maids handle the former, while the latter is unnecessary when money seemingly flows from banks or ATMs without effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With such perceptions deeply ingrained, today\u2019s planned kids stand out in their attitudes and behaviors, often to the shock and dismay of relatives and others around them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Guidelines for Planned Kids at Family Gatherings This Festive Season <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Understanding the Value of Greeting Elders: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because you were brought into the world after careful planning, you are dearly loved by your parents. This love, while necessary, is sometimes expressed in ways that may seem unconventional in broader society, especially in African culture. For example, while elders in your home may do the greeting, elsewhere, children are expected to greet their elders first. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As you head into the festive season, make sure to greet your elders\u2014it\u2019s not just about showing respect, but also about adhering to proper etiquette. And no, your usual \u201chi\u201d or \u201cwhat\u2019s up\u201d won\u2019t do. Add titles like \u201cUncle,\u201d \u201cAuntie,\u201d or \u201cGrandma,\u201d and greet them with a warm handshake, a slight bow, or even kneeling, depending on local customs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sharing is Caring:<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Being the only child or one of just a few siblings, you\u2019re accustomed to having your own toys, clothes, and shoes. Sharing, to you, is often an atrocity, and you\u2019ll likely throw a fit if a cousin or neighbor dares touch your belongings. But this festive season, remember sharing is caring. If your cousins come to visit, offer them some of your toys or anything you value. And when you’re the one visiting, ask before taking something that belongs to someone else. After all, you tend to be more inclined to take than to give. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Expressing Gratitude for Meals and Hospitality:<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n This one should go without saying, but I\u2019ll mention it anyway: holiday gatherings with extended family are often accompanied by delicious, lovingly prepared home-cooked meals. These meals take time, effort, and resources to make, and those involved in t preparation deserve your appreciation. In my tradition, for instance, Christmas lunch preparation starts as early as the 22nd (with the slaughtering of animals), and the meal itself is made on the 24th. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then there\u2019s Melissa, the planned kid, who always arrives at family Christmas lunches with her meal served in a plastic foil from Cafe Javas or a ceramic plate, brought all the way to a village in \u2018Kyanamukaka,\u2019 southern Uganda, to celebrate with her extended family. In her \u2018Baganda\u2019 home, food is traditionally served in a banana leaf\u2014a custom Melissa finds “disgusting.” Not only does she refuse to eat, but she throws tantrums. To all the Melisas out there planning to visit relatives this festive season, either try the food offered\u2014even just a small portion\u2014or stay home. Rejecting food in an African household is not just rude; it\u2019s seen as a bad omen\u2014something that could bring misfortune to the home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When served food, show respect and gratitude\u2014especially since you didn\u2019t help cook it (let\u2019s be real, you can\u2019t even boil water). Simply say \u201cthank you\u201d to those who worked hard to put a meal on your table. Better yet, help with the cleanup, even if you\u2019re not asked. Your elders made sure you had food, so the least you can do is lend a hand. Plus, it\u2019s a great way to bond with your cousins and maybe even learn a few life skills. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Being Mindful of Village Rules and Customs:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s also worth noting that many grandparents live in rural areas where life moves at a different pace. Nature not only has a seat at the table, but it is also the table. Be prepared for dusty roads, bushy neighborhoods, and houses where the paint is peeling. It may seem picturesque, and you\u2019ll likely whip out your phone to snap photos, but don\u2019t stress about things like finding a type C charger or looking for Wi-Fi to update your Instagram fee People in these areas have bigger concerns, like what they\u2019ll eat tomorrow, not data or internet connection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Just as you might be intrigued by the different dress codes in the village, your Au Berna will likely be shocked by the metals in your nose and ears. Consider sparing her the surprise and dress \u201cappropriately\u201d for the occasion. After all, you have options, and she doesn\u2019t. Leave your high-fashion wardrobe and accessories for Kigali fashion week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Creating Positive Memories Together: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n At the end of the day, the holidays are about making memories with family. Be flexible, considerate, and willing to step up when your younger cousins or elderly relatives need help. Join in local traditions, whether that\u2019s brewing urwagwa or preparing rucakarara, or playing traditional games. These experiences will help you connect with your heritage and develop a deep sense of pride in your family and culture. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And don\u2019t forget to express gratitude to the family members who hosted and took care of you before you head back to wherever you came from. Time is precious, right? A warm hug, a handshake, or even a \u201cthank you for having us\u201d can go a long way in showing appreciation. A small gesture, like slipping in an \u2018igihumbi\u2019 (one thousand francs note), will certainly make it feel even more heartfelt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The festive season remains one of the most cherished times of the year in many homes, ranking high among the rare events that still bring relatives together in celebration. Well, that is, for some. Others have opted out of traditional church weddings, favoring civil marriages that only require a handful of witnesses. And let’s not<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":8542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,86],"tags":[98],"ppma_author":[120],"class_list":{"0":"post-8541","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-culture","8":"category-lifestyle","9":"tag-from-the-magazine"},"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/sensmagazine.com\/rw\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/GREETING-8-1024x512.jpg\")
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